While waiting to continue to shoot a business video, a man I’m guessing is in his mid 60s introduced himself. I learned he spends most of his time traveling on business.
I wondered how crisscrossing the world impacts his family life. Yes, he is married. Does he miss his wife?
I once romanticized the concept of business travel, imagining myself as a national news correspondent visiting various corners of the country and planet. Several visits to less than luxurious hotels, constant technical problems and unfulfilling Skype sessions with home quickly reversed my view.
When I asked the question to the older man standing next to me, he explained he has been married 41 years. His point wasn’t to express his love. He implied after 41 years, missing each other no longer applied.
To his amusement, I recommended he, at that very moment, call his wife and tell her he missed her. He said if he made such a call and said such words, his wife would wonder who was actually on the other end of the line. He indicated one of the aspects important to her: the regular arrival of his paychecks.
I didn’t laugh in agreement as if to reinforce my man card. I consider his statement a sad one and a reminder how much I learn from older men. Long ago, I promised myself not to grow into one of those wrinkled faces who shamelessly and awkwardly flirt while showing the class of a sleazy salesman. In this area, men seem to lose their minds and all sense of reality as the years pass. The other lesson is preventing your marriage from sliding into such a routine, your partnership is one in name only. More depressing is when men (and women) then start publicly discussing this with strangers such as myself. This discussion might work with buddies at the bar or while watching football. But married couples living the single life is not the attractive brand some younger bachelors might imagine.
This conversation doesn’t make him a bad man. Live your life your way. But my mom often complains young people sometimes treat her as if she is stupid because of her age. I learn a lot from those older than me and sometimes that includes learning the paths not to take.