How Had I Not Heard This Before?

My Dad is not a public speaker. However, you don’t need the skill of talking eloquently before crowds to ensure words carry weight and wield influence.

Many times when life’s building frustrations pushed me closer to whichever metaphorical edge that might have applied at the time, my Dad’s slower delivery of wisdom successfully provided the type of safety valve I needed when free falling. And during these very personal motivational speeches, he frequently shared a personal failure to reinforce how he can relate and the lessons he learned.

During these moments, the stories he shared from his life strike me like an unforeseen left jab I didn’t see coming and didn’t know existed. How had I not heard before of such a watershed moment in his life?

Generally, the world of stereotypes tell us men are not the strongest communicators with each other. However, I propose a lack of personal sharing also is symbolic of a generational gap.

While my generation and the one that followed might consider spilling their guts on social media more routine than risk, those who grew up before me tend to not proactively crack open their books until a moment desperately cries for crucial perspective.

Loren never successfully persuaded her grandmother to share mysteries about Loren’s grandfather. And my adventures into Ancestry.com only recently unlocked information that prior generations never cooperated to pass along.

When my Dad shares stories of personal struggle I never knew existed, I’m grateful. His stories build a bridge of understanding and strength that convince me to start stepping backward from the edge. This is when you realize your heroes are very human and faced the same darkness that only experience can help clearly explain. However, I also begin to wonder what other stories might exist and whether they will ever reveal themselves in the future. Must we wait to turn the page on another chapter before hearing the latest twist?

If my Dad proactively shared the private successes and failures that shaped him, I wonder what I might learn. TMI, too much information, is a reality. However, better and more open communication between generations, and perhaps specifically among men and fathers and sons, might help us find our path sooner and better navigate those ugly turns we didn’t see approaching.