Dear Communicators, PR Pros, Graphic Designers, Videographers, Copywriters and Social Media Experts:
My name is Clueless Executive. You can call me Mr. C. I want to inform you I can do whatever you do. I can type, write marketing materials, download free graphic art and software, shoot video with my smartphone and post to Facebook. You went to college to study your specialty and bring decades of real world experience to the table, but I can accomplish the same by watching a couple of YouTube videos and slapping something together one afternoon. I don’t need key messages, goals or to understand my target audiences. I certainly don’t need creativity because my subordinates hang on every word I say. They love me. They love every one of my ideas and think I’m a funny guy. I don’t need to entertain them or find interesting ways to get them to buy into what’s important to my company. They are not cynics and skeptics. Just because I type something, put together a graphic, shoot a video or post a picture to Facebook, it works. There’s nothing to it. I don’t need strategy. It just works.
That’s how we’re different. You couldn’t do my job. You have no idea what is involved with my job. You probably don’t appreciate all the intricacies of it. My job takes years of experience and I’m worth every penny. You get what you pay for and that’s why I make a lot of money. You’ll never see a blog on how to be an executive for less than $50.
I could pay you, but you’re not free. My administrative assistant can do what you do without me paying her extra. I may even allow her to hire an unpaid intern. She realizes she must accomplish more with less time. She doesn’t need any extra training. If I were wrong, wouldn’t my subordinates tell me? Wouldn’t they tell me I’m delivering crap? But they don’t. They think I’m funny and laugh at all my jokes.
I need to go now. My administrative assistant says we’re ready to begin in our conference room. She’s going to use her iPad to shoot a long video of me droning on about some details from our legal department. While I speak on-camera, I’m going to simultaneously write a memo, create a poster, put together a press release, text a journalist, design our new logo and post to Facebook. My video might be more interesting by fast forwarding through it, but our employees, as if it were Christmas Eve, always await with great anticipation my next project. Everything I do is interesting no matter how I do it. I don’t need experience. I don’t need training. I don’t need a budget. I just don’t get it.
I don’t value what you do. Have a nice day.
Mr. C